Elopement Vows Guide

The Ultimate Guide on How to Write Your Own Elopement Vows: Examples and Tips

Writing weddings vows for your partner is often considered one of the most difficult tasks one can face. It can indeed be a challenge to express just how much they mean to us while also incorporating humor into our words. Communicating the significance of our shared memories and expressing our excitement for creating new ones together can be tricky. Having worked as a wedding filmmaker for over a decade, I have had the privilege of witnessing a wide range of vows - from funny and heartfelt to short and sweet or deeply emotional. In an effort to provide inspiration, I have written this article with tips for writing your wedding vows, including vow examples of real couples.  I hope this guide is everything you need to know to write your personal vows. And to answer your first question head on: No, there is no perfect length for wedding vows, if you look at the vow examples from real couples shattered over this article you will see that short vows are perfect and long vows are also perfect. 

While I am more than happy to provide you with some vow examples, I believe that the actual vows should be deeply personal and reflective of the significant moment in your elopement, as they mark the beginning of a lifelong journey together. I will offer inspiration and examples, but ultimately it is important for you to let your heart guide the words of your vows. I personally do not adhere to the traditional, pre-defined wedding vows, and I encourage you to find the words that truly resonate with your feelings and sentiments.

Just a quick note; I will be referring to your partner as "he" for the sake of readability, but please remember that love is not limited by gender. Whether you are a woman or man, and your partner is a man or woman, love is beautiful and inclusive. I will use "he" for simplicity in this article, but please know that I acknowledge and respect all forms of love.

Gather your personal thoughts to write the perfect vows

Write from the heart. Your vows should be sincere and authentic, so don't be afraid to be vulnerable and open about your emotions. It's okay to show your partner how much they mean to you.

When writing your vows you end with a promise to always love your partner. You vow to make his life better and you vow to always be there. The first think you you should do is make a list of your thoughts of how you feel when you hear your partner's voice, to feel his skin touch your skin, how you feel when you hear him come home late at night when you lie in bed pretending to sleep but actually wait for him to get home. How do you feel when you see him play sports or talk to your family, how he interacts with others or play with children or animals. Take a piece of paper, your iphone or your remarkable and make a list of your thoughts of random situation and how does this make your feel. 

Envision your future (promises)

But also try to think of why you decided to want him as your partner. Does he support you? Is he your friend? Is he there when you need him? When you want something new does he encourage you? Do you encourage him? Do you often want to explore something new? 

TheKnot mentioned the beautifull wedding of James and Stefano recently in their blog. For their wedding in Italy, James and Stefano exchanged a series of promises outlining how they planned to support each other through the various situations they may encounter in their marriage. By envisioning circumstances they anticipate will come up in their marriage, they were also able to articulate how they'll react and support each other through those circumstances.

Stefano and James: "I, Stefano/James, take you, James/Stefano, to be my husband.When you need a friend, I will be your best friend. When you need help, I will be there for you.When you need care, I will support you. When you want to try something new, I will encourage you.And when you do the same for me, I will appreciate you.But if you don't… I will forgive you. Every day. For the rest of my life."

Do you have the list? Perfect! Now we will make a second list with personal stories.

Recall the stories you wrote together

Let's imagine we're playing a special game. Instead of a regular audition, picture around 40 TVs lined up. Each one plays a home movie of moments you've shared together.

The first TV shows the moment you two met. Another TV displays your first date. Then there's the time you called him a jerk. Remember when you laughed in the rain, getting soaked? (By the way, do you also love The Notebook?)

Think about meeting each other's families, going to festivals together, enjoying concerts, your first holiday in the Mediterranean, renting a sailing boat, and your hiking adventures.

Now, let's fill each TV with these memories.

Can you think of a special moment for each situation? Like a silly joke he told in Spain, or how he always gives you a little push when hiking, or how he never remembers his keychains at festivals. Try to match these personal moments to the home movies!

Great! Now you probably have all your memories fresh and ready to go in your head. Look at your list and start writing, write why you love him and what personal moment it was you first realized this. Write why you fell in love with him and when did you notice?  You see where I am going with this?

Example vow: "I recall the moment I knew you were the one for me. We were at a festival, it was about 6 years ago and we only had a few sips of water left and I asked for the water bottle and you looked at me and you drank it all. You looked at me and said: I will get you a new bottle of fresh cold water. I hope you didnt noticed but I was hooked, I knew that that was the kind of guy I wanted for the rest of my life."

Facing challenges and overcoming obstacles as a couple can strengthen your bond and deepen your connection. It is important to acknowledge and appreciate the struggles you have faced together, as they have likely shaped you both into the people you are today. Embracing the ups and downs of your relationship can help you grow stronger and be more resilient as a couple. Remember that love is not always easy, but the effort you put into overcoming obstacles can make your relationship even more valuable and rewarding in the long run. 

Example vow:" Throughout our journey together, we have encountered challenges, some more difficult than others, that have contributed to the solid foundation of our bond. Your consistent love, unwavering support, and quiet resilience have not gone unnoticed. I am grateful for your acceptance and love for my spirited, vibrant, and boisterous Spanish family, just as much as I cherish them. Thank you." 

Get inspired by books, songs, quotes, movies, and poems

In addition to personal experiences, we can also draw inspiration from books, songs, quotes, movies, and poems that we have shared and enjoyed together. These sources of inspiration can hold special meaning for both you and your partner. Below are some beautiful examples of wedding vows that may inspire you.

• "Because of you I can feel myself slowly but surely becoming the me I have always dreamed of being." – Tyler Knott Gregson
• "I am nothing special; just a common man with common thoughts, and I’ve led a common life. There are no monuments dedicated to me and my name will soon be forgotten. But in one respect I have succeeded as gloriously as anyone who’s ever lived: I’ve loved another with all my heart and soul; and to me, this has always been enough." - Nicholas Sparks,The Notebook
• "I hope you don't mind that I put down in words / How wonderful life is while you're in the world." – Elton John, "Your Song"
• “I won’t give up on us / Even if the skies get rough / I’m giving you all my love / I’m still looking up” - “I Won’t Give Up” by Jason Mraz
• “I have died everyday waiting for you / Darling, don’t be afraid / I have loved you for a thousand years / I’ll love you for a thousand more” - “A Thousand Years” by Christina Perri
• "For so long, I wondered if I would ever find my prince, my soulmate. Then three years ago, at another wedding, I turned to a friend for comfort. And instead, I found everything that I'd ever been looking for my whole life. And now here we are, with our future before us, and I only want to spend it with you, my prince, my soulmate, my friend. Unless you don't want to. You go!" Monica - FRIENDS
• “I look forward to a lifetime of joy, growth, and constant mispronunciation of common words.” Cece (New Girl, TV)
• "Leonard, you're not only the love of my life, you're my best friend. And you've got a friend in me. You got troubles. I got 'em too. There isn't anything I wouldn't do for you. We stick together and we can see it through because you've got a friend in me. Penny (The Big Bang Theory, TV)

Make it your own. This I vow.

Crafting your wedding vows is your chance to make promises that truly resonate with you and your partner. Don't just recite generic lines—make them uniquely yours by adding inside jokes, shared memories, or references to special moments in your relationship. This personal touch will make your vows meaningful and unforgettable for both of you.

Think about what promises you want to make to your partner. Do you vow to always support their dreams? To laugh together, even during life's serious moments? To love them unconditionally? Your vows are the heartfelt commitments you're making to each other, so make them count.

Need some inspiration? Here are some real vows from couples:

" I promise to encourage you to follow your dreams. I vow to continue to challenge you to be the best version of yourself. I promise to make you laugh, when you're taking life too seriously. I promise to love you unconditionally. I vow to put you first and never lose our spark. I promise to never stop singing my own made-up songs, although I know you wish I would."

“I vow to love and support you.” “I promise to spend the rest of my days loving you madly.” “I promise to cherish you for the rest of your life.”

 "I vow to stand by your side, through thick and thin, through the good times and the bad. I promise to be your rock, your companion, and your biggest supporter in all that you do." 

 "I promise to love you unconditionally, to cherish you always, and to celebrate every moment of this incredible journey we are embarking on together." 

 "I vow to laugh with you in times of joy, to cry with you in times of sorrow, and to hold you close through every challenge that comes our way." 

"I vow to listen to you, to respect you, and to give you my unwavering loyalty and devotion for all the days of our lives." 

 "I vow to be the best partner I can be, to encourage you to follow your dreams, to support you in all of your endeavors, and to love you fiercely and endlessly." 

"I vow to be patient, understanding, and compassionate, to be your confidante and your best friend, and to create a home filled with love, laughter, and happiness." 

 "I vow to never take our love for granted, to always put our relationship first, and to honor and cherish you for as long as we both shall live." 

"I vow to grow with you, to learn with you, to experience all of life's adventures with you, and to be your partner in every sense of the word." 

 "I vow to be faithful, honest, and true, to communicate openly and honestly, and to always strive to be the best version of myself for you." 

"I promise to be your equal, your partner in all things, and to love you more and more each day, for the rest of our lives." 

In conclusion, 

It is important to remember that elopement is a special milestone in your journey with your partner, who is the love of your life. It marks the beginning of a new and exciting chapter for the rest of your life. Sharing vows is a beautiful and personal way to express your love for each other through words. While your partner likely already knows how much you appreciate their smile, look forward to their hugs, and enjoy their jokes, it is always meaningful to hear it said aloud. When you write your wedding vows, make sure to personalize them and make them your own. Following the suggestions in this article will help you write heartfelt vows. I suggest you read your vows in front of a mirror, read your vows out loud and keep repeating them until every word feels true and flows effortlessly. I hope I have helped you write your own vows and that after reading this article you want to write your vows with perfection as your partner deserves. 

Some final example wedding vow examples:

"My love, from the moment I met you, I knew you were the one for me. You bring so much joy and laughter into my life, and I can't imagine a day without you by my side. I promise to cherish and support you, to laugh with you in times of joy, and to hold you close in times of sorrow. I love you more than words can express, and I can't wait to spend the rest of my life creating new memories with you."

"As I stand here before you today, I am overwhelmed with gratitude for the love we share. You are my rock, my partner in crime, and my soulmate. I promise to stand by your side through thick and thin, to be your confidante and your biggest cheerleader. I love you more than you'll ever know, and I can't wait to see what the future holds for us."